ELEPHANT
I don’t know
what’s going to happen
as I go to this family
event, a wake—
that’s when the
extended family
gets together now
wakes and weddings
I’m not really thinking
about it, this
is an obligation
an old aunt has died
someone I haven’t seen
in ten years and was
never close to
I’m wearing all black
leather jacket, doc martens
my uniform these days
I stand in line
pay my respects
and turn around
to find my second cousin
walking up to greet me
hi, haven’t seen you in so long
the usual things we say to each other
and soon others join us
women with short haircuts
men who use their hands
dramatically when they speak
and pretty soon I get it
every gay member of the
family has gathered around me
as if to welcome me
I had no idea
there were so many of us
so much for gaydar
when it comes to family
we are all
in our thirties and forties
nobody sees us
though they watch us
nod in approval
at how the young ones
are re-connecting
we are invisible
like my gay students
who all end up sitting together
in the class of forty
only the most flamboyant
of the men suspect
we catch up on each other’s lives
Alan’s business ventures, Darlene learning
the art of tattoo, my writing and teaching
we don’t talk about lovers or partners
we are the elephant in the room
nobody has eyes to see